Monday, April 30, 2012

21- Alcoholic Egotism


Egotism can be described as arrogance, bullheadedness, overconfidence, self-absorption, and pride.  The habit of valuing everything only in reference to one's personal interest.  
Selfishness.
Alcoholism and egoism walk hand in hand.  Our decisions to do things are for us.  An alcoholic frequently skips over any thought that their actions would cause another harm.  Whether physical or emotional, the alcoholic's wants are priority.  Thoughts of consequences of our actions typically arise too late or not enough. 
It is impulsiveness to live in the moment in an inflated Carpe Diem manner.  
The words, "Fuck It." come to mind.  
"If they don't like what I'm doing then they can get lost."  Being in control of situations are the comfortable place to be.  Its a be happy now and worry about the price later mantra.
Alcohol depresses inhibitions which otherwise would result in more concern for someone besides oneself.
 Driving drunk is one of the products of this overconfidence.  Always being OK to drive, or I drive better when I'm drunk, I'm right down the road, etc.  
With proper decision making one could stop and think about what might happen to someone else.  The fear of someone else getting hurt is replaced by self-regard; my car might get towed, I need my car in the morning, I'll be fine.  
Once again, maintaining one's own self worthiness to drive a car while intoxicated. 
This alcoholic egotism can also be seen in sexuality.  
The reduction of inhibitions can completely mirror the increase of promiscuity.  
A pleasure for me now ideal.  It is likely that the egotism involved in a sexual encounter could be only one-sided. 
 The want to live in the moment, and work the rest out later lies in narcissism.  These actions can sometimes tamper with one's morality, and lead to self-importance or even bragging. 
 Alcohol provides the vehicle to ignore any trouble signs of wrong doing.  
This could also be compounded by the morning hangover, and the return of one's ethicality.  
The return of rectitude may also lead to self-doubt that can hurt the ego.  
This usually results in more drinking to run away from the self-awareness of wrong-doing.  
Relying on ignorance of hurting someone else is key for the alcoholic.
Therein, lies "The Cycle".
I feel guilty.
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